guanajuato: day 18

The journey is already almost over! We passed the halfway mark on Sunday, and time is still flying by. It helps that we have given ourselves more to do and have been getting into more difficult grammar in class. We’ve been talking about the use of indirect and direct pronouns, which is done in and extremely confusing way (to me) in Spanish, especially since I don’t really even understand the similar grammar in English. I’ve also been trying to spend more time reading Harry Potter in Spanish. I’ve made it through about 7 pages so far, but damn is it slow going! The main problems are pronoun usage (I never know who or what is being referred to) and the use of tenses that I am not familiar with (which includes most tenses). Thankfully, I had purchases a book of verbs that goes through every conjugation of the 300 most common verbs. That thing is extremely useful.

We also have a new maestro this week, who is animated, fun, and funny. She seems quite young, and said that she studies linguistics at her university, so she also knows a little of several other languages. Her demands of us are more rigorous than with past teachers, so I think we are getting a bit more out of this week of clases.

On a different topic, we had been intending to do salsa lessons since week 2, but we were sick the entire week so that fell through. We finally got the chance on Monday, and I must admit that I was not looking forward to it. But I always tell the gf “no” for these kinds of things, so I decided to suck it up and do it. It was sort of fun, but I felt like entire time.

Since both of us are absolute beginners to salsa (and to dancing in general, for me), we were given our own instructor, who is a very nice, handsome, young guy who speaks a little English. He is very animated, as one might expect of a dance instructor, and finds our mistakes amusing (but not in a bad way). The rest of the class was off in a separate room doing more complicated stuff, and every time I looked over I just thought, “I really hope I don’t have to try doing that any time soon.” And it seems I won’t!

The lesson went well and I sort of had fun, though I felt like an ass the entire time. As everyone who knows me will agree, I do not like flinging my body around in front of people and get frustrated quickly when doing something that I suck at and have no interest in. If I am simply not interested, but can do something, it’s no problem. And if I am interested but suck, I can get over my frustration to get something done. But when both conditions are negative I get angry, embarrassed, and quit as soon as I get the chance.

This was a lot like that. I left the lesson feeling okay, but like I had just spent an hour making a complete fool of myself. I’m pretty sure I didn’t look half as bad as I felt that I did, and am sure that no one would have cared if I had, but it is just a personal issue that I have.

So yesterday, as the day wore on, I began to dread more and more going to salsa that night. A couple hours beforehand, I just decided that I couldn’t do it. Why subject myself to feeling like an ass while doing something that I have zero interest in? Well, it turns out that the answer to this question is that if I didn’t feel like an ass then I would have to be an ass. Because the gf was not happy that I didn’t want to do this.

So I ultimately decided to suck it up and force myself to attend these lessons. After all, I only have to do it 6 more times- only 6 more hours of feeling like an ass. And it will make the gf happy, so in the end it will be worth it. Plus I’ll have the bonus of being able to (poorly) dance salsa at a really basic level, which is probably an asset. Or perhaps an ass-set.

It took me most of last night’s lesson to accept my fate, and now I am back to neutral, my normal state of being.

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