As the title suggests, I had a Revelation (yes, with a capital “R”!) last night. In my sleep.
In my dream, I found myself at some sort of a pool party with many other people, in what appeared to be a large city. It was a very nice affair, with giant buildings off in the distance and a fence around our event, presumably to keep out the riffraff. People were babbling on about this giant, crusty, odd-shaped structure floating way up in the atmosphere. It was unclear what the thing was. So unclear, in fact, that no one would even speculate about its origins.
Suddenly we realized that the structure was growing bigger. This was a frightening thought, since we didn’t know what it was. But then we realized it was growing bigger in appearance, because it was falling towards us! This was a bit more frightening.
The object fell quite slowly out of the sky, and the pool-partiers began screaming and frantically running to get through the fence. Things became a bit more intense when there was suddenly a massive windstorm (that did not blow the thing off course), and the following appearance of Death.
It was the standard Death from movies and comics, with a black cloak, no face, and bone appendages. He did a bit more swooping through the sky than usual, which seems to me a more sensible way to chase down those that must be cut down. Of which there were many.
Finally the falling structure was close enough to see, and I then knew it for what it was: a humongous ball of uncooked pasta. It slowly immersed itself into the pool, which immediately came to a roiling boil, cooking the pasta ball. At this point the wind had subsided and Death had disappeared, along with the hundreds of souls he had collected. Those party-goers left alive, as well as the riffraff who could now come through the damaged fence, returned to the pool and watched the pasta cook. We were all hit with sudden and intense hunger pangs, and so we grabbed large ornate bowls and chopsticks that had mysteriously appeared and began helping ourselves to the pasta. The chemicals normally found in pool water seemed not to be present, and the pasta was the most delicious I have ever had.
As the night went on, many different government and religious officials descended on our group, trying to assess the situation and do damage control. They eventually settled on an explanation:
The Ramen Noodle makers were storing this large ball of ramen in space. It was never explained why. The ball had then fallen and landed in the pool.
Since there were no bodies to be found, our memories of Death were dismissed as a group hallucination. The missing persons were assumed to have run away for various reasons.
And that was the end of my dream.
It is clear to me, after thinking through these events, that this was indeed a revelation from the one true god. The revelation was, simply, that if we believe in the great FSM we will be saved from the apocalypse. Not even Death can stay in his noodly presence. So, everyone, embrace The FSM. Worship him for the safety of your souls!