Well, I’ve been home for 3 months now and I haven’t finished telling my leaving story! I probably don’t even remember it all now, and I’m sure I’ll end up leaving out all kinds of stuff. I sincerely hope that none of these end up being false memories (my logic may be infallible, but my memory certainly isn’t! 
). The timeline will most certainly be a little inaccurate.
Read Part 1 here. Now on to Part 2:
It looks like I left off with the end of the first day of trying to leave, where I was offered to teach at a university at a new site if I would stay.
After leaving the APCD’s office and taking a walk outside, I shortly realized that it didn’t make any difference to me at all. Which was really too bad, because I was hoping that I would have some reason to change my mind. But I didn’t. I spent some time wandering around Kampala and thinking, then talked to Brother Stoz on the phone, and talked to my fellow PCVs who had come with me. A few more came to town, so I got to explain to them why I wanted to go and say goodbye, which made me happy. By the end of the night I was even more certain than I had been before, so I went to bed ready to talk to the CD in the morning and tell him that I had for sure made the decision to leave.
I arrived at his Office and told him that I had decided to leave. The CD looked at me for a moment, and then went on to explain all of the reasons why I shouldn’t and handed me a thing that he had written up about me. Apparently, country directors are supposed to document the events surrounding an early termination (ET), and he had written something up with all of his beliefs about me and my decision to go. He said, “Now, normally you would never see this, but I decided to make an exception in this case.” The various things he spewed into this document included the fact that “Adam is part of the ME generation,” and similar bizarrely and uncharacteristically (for the CD; he’s a very intelligent man) incorrect and even irrational things. The one that caused me the most annoyance, however, was his claim that I had stated that I “wanted to go back the States to get a high-paying job, such as a doctor or lawyer.” This is nearly exactly the opposite of what I had told the CD, and made me realize that he was much more interested in trying to get me to stay than he was willing to pay attention to what I was telling him. After this meeting he told me to go make travel plans and get a plane ticket, and to start the process of ETing.
I thought this last thing was pretty strange, since my expectation was for some sort of packet with a shit-ton of paper work that would tell me what to do, and that someone would make all of the travel arrangements and just tell me what I was supposed to do. I tried asking the secretary, but she was quite uninterested in helping me out. I then talked to the guy in charge of the financial stuff, who informed me that I needed to pay back the part of my allowance that was allocated to the rest of the month (which I expected) and that the CD wanted me to account for all of the one-time settling-in allowance (which I did not expect). Confused and annoyed, I did as I was told, handed it over, and then walked back to the hotel since I didn’t know what else I was supposed to do.
I had made a medical appointment for the next day, where I got my TB skin test and the like. The nurse asked me how the ET process was going, and I said “I have no idea; no one is telling me what I’m supposed to do and I haven’t been given any paperwork.” I also asked her for help in arranging a flight, since I had no idea how to do that while in Uganda, how much it was supposed to cost, and who to give that information to for payment. She was equally as confused as I was that the CD had asked me to arrange my own flight, so she kindly went to the secretary and asked her to arrange the flight for me, as well as to make a copy of the ET packet for me to start working on.
Then, apparently, the shit hit the fan. After giving me the packet and the flight info, the nurse was then told that the CD was upset with her because he had specifically wanted me to arrange the flight and that I was supposed to go directly to him to clear it. She apologized to me for this weirdness, and sent me up to the CD. I went, and gave him the info. Apparently, he just wanted another opportunity to tell me that I was a bad person and that he was completely baffled by my decision to leave and my lack of feelings of commitment to the Peace Corps. I explained, again, that I didn’t feel any commitment because clearly Peace Corps Uganda did not feel commitment to its Volunteers, as the inadequate training and some certain events had shown.
I asked how I was supposed to pay for the plane ticket, and if I would have to use a credit card and be reimbursed or what. He told me that I had to pay for my own ticket.
WTF. At this point my confusion and anger merged into an awful beast, and I left the office completely at a loss for what to do. I asked the nurse if this was how it worked, and she expressed shock and said no, not at all. In fact, she was pretty sure that the Country Director wasn’t allowed to make that demand. The CD’s explanation to me had been, “since you don’t feel any obligation towards Peace Corps, why should I feel any obligation to you?” The money guy got back to me shortly after this, and explained that the CD also wanted me to pay back some of the settling-in allowance. This is also not standard procedure. Another Volunteer had left the week before, and none of these things happened to him. Presumably this was because the CD wasn’t pissed off at him for his leaving reasons. The financial officer seemed uncomfortable with this, and settled on me paying the Peace Corps for the value of the things that I had left for the orphaned boy, which was what the CD specifically asked for. The Peace Corps isn’t a charity organization after all, why should they let me donate the money to an orphan?
Anyway, I did it and got the rest of the paperwork done, then had to go get something signed by the CD one last time. At this point I had read the ET documentation that he had written, so I told him that I understood that he thought I was a bad person, but that I was quite sure I was doing what I needed to do (how “ME generation” of me!). He seemed in thought for a moment, then sat down and said, “Now, I’m sure you’re part of a nice middle class family and I don’t want to put you into debt, so I’m going to pay for your ticket. I just hope when you get home you realize what a mistake you are making.” Apparently the CD is equivalent to the Peace Corps.
Anyway, my interpretation of the CD’s actions and statements up to this point follows this timeline: 1) Express interest in my reasons for leaving while trying to help me see that they are not good reasons, 2) Indicate forcefully that I am making serious judgement errors, 3) Show disdain for me and my generation, 4) Attempt to punish me with guilt, 5) Attempt to punish me financially, and 5) Attempt to punish through guilt by appearing to be the good guy. Looking back, it all seems kind of planned and that I clearly hit a nerve with my reasons for leaving. Things would have been easier if I had just lied and said that there were family things I had to deal with, but I still think honesty is better. However, I do encourage anyone that goes through the same process to lie, if you don’t feel bad about it, because it will certainly make things smoother.
In closing, I want to point out that Peace Corps Uganda does not necessarily reflect Peace Corps [Other Country] and that my experiences were probably not the norm. In fact, the one thing I learned about Peace Corps is that there is no norm in Volunteer experiences. Though I was extremely annoyed and frustrated with the way I was treated while trying to leave, I understand that the Peace Corps staff were angry at me for leaving so quickly and for reasons they felt were unacceptable. I don’t harbor any ill will towards them, and I still expect that the CD will do an amazing job of turning the program around there. The fact that he equates himself with Peace Corps Uganda, though bad for me, is likely extremely good for the program, since that will make him the best kind of leader.
I’ll add one more part to this series, which will be the story of coming home, and then this chapter of my life is closed.
